It surprises me how disinterested we are today about things like physics, space, the universe and philosophy of our existence, our purpose, our final destination. It’s a crazy world out there. Be curious. The greatest enemy of knowledge is not ignorance; it is the illusion of knowledge.”  — 
Stephen Hawking

I gulp to think that we’ve spent thousands on our wedding, money that might have gone to helping families at the border, saving the Earth, or even paying our future bills.

So why did we do it? It’s felt like writing a symphony must feel; one day you realize you’re are being buoyed along by something greater than yourself that you set in motion, yes, but which will consume you and play itself out beyond you.

We have created and then surrendered to something bigger than ourselves. First, through our love, then the commitment to any growth needed to align ourselves fully with our wholeness, with God, and with our greatest life’s purpose…all at once.

“We walk through the portal, and two become one and one is all and all is life.”

I am ashamed I cannot afford to donate this morning to these border human rights groups because I need to spend almost $1,000 on alcohol this week.

Really? How did this happen? I am willing to eventually feel good about my priorities and my choices, to receive all the love and support I need but then to truly give it back, share it, truly in this world.

And in the same prayer I realize that a huge part of that is through writing.

I feel worthless. Unarmed, I hear those in my stadium sink into the sea. What do we spend to keep from feeling worthless?

I am evened out. My bottom is a carved vessel, rough wood, but it holds water, or wine. You can count on it to carry needed drink to the thirsty. I choose compassion over misery. Yes, I chose to get married, and yes we are throwing this party AND yes, I must find a way to help more.

Here, take, eat. This is my flesh. In the end, to feed the world all we can offer is our truest selves. They may seem meager, the offering paltry, but in gifting it we soon discover that it’s growing in ways we couldn’t have imagined or planned.

I lay my worthless life down and I give of myself anyway and hope for the best. Naked, I realize I have nothing more than those in detention centers, that we are all united in our strength, in our poverty and lack, in our courage, and at last, our grace. These things no one can take from us.

But we must hollow ourselves first if we are to remember who we are: A vessel carved to carry water, or wine, nothing more.

God, in your infinite mercy and wisdom, fill me up. Make me an instrument of your divine light. Let my words, my choices, my beingness, even my rest, let them all be yours, let me be in you, and you in me until I lose myself in the light and discover I was never separate after all, that this skin and these bones and my blood are mostly hollow. Electrons floating in a sea wide enough to fit not only all of me, but all of Thee. Please help us all, help us build the world we wish to see, for all humanity.

For all life, every plant, organism, bacteria, every cell, each bird and planet, a home, all needs met, a singing in balanced health and harmony, an Earth healed and healing, a place to call home.